Rest in Peace

Oh, so much to tell. (Someday I’ll update this blog more than once every 30-60 days…)

Since the last we spoke, I’ve gone on vacation, gotten very ill, gotten a little better, little ill again, had stress breakdown over course of a week, started a diet, broke the diet (lasted 1.5 days,) and met with an academics counselor.

I’ll start at the beginning.

♪Vacation, all I ever wanted…vacation, had to get awaaayyy…♪

Vacation was great. It was perfect. There were some bumps here and there (of course there will be going with 9 members of your family) but other than those, it was fun. If I hadn’t mentioned previously, we went to Orlando, Florida. We had a jam-packed week with Discovery Cove, Universal Studios, Islands of Adventure, Aquatica, Universal’s Halloween Horror Nights, and SeaWorld.

Some quick thoughts – I thought Discovery Cove was only so-so. We paid about $250 per person to enjoy an all-inclusive day of swimming with dolphins, snorkeling, swimming in the lazy river, and drinking. It just wasn’t worth it. It only took a half day to enjoy everything. Plus they didn’t start serving alcohol until 11AM. I mean, I’m no drunk but I’m on vacation and you’re an all-inclusive resort. Let’s get it on a little earlier. The dolphin thing was fun, though. They’re such smart and pretty things.

I’ve been to Universal twice before but favorite rides were: Harry Potter, The Incredible Hulk, The Mummy, and Transformers. Fun, fun, fun. I was a little nervous because a lot of reviews online said that women with bigger chests couldn’t fit in the seat. But I was able to ride everything I wanted to, so I was happy.

The Halloween Horror Nights was another big attraction. WOW – it was great! We had fast passes so we were able to go through every house (except Evil Dead) and we also had time to see Bill and Ted’s Excellent Halloween Adventure. The show was absolutely hysterical and so up to date with all the pop culture references. Loved it. I thought the scariest houses were Cabin Fever and American Werewolf in London. I am a huge scaredy cat and it was a big deal for me to go in the houses. I think I bruised my poor mother’s shoulders by the end of the night from grabbing onto them. I also screamed absolute BLOODY murder the entire night. Even though I burst into tears after the first house, I actually had a fabulous time.

After vacation, I was home for about 2 days before I got seriously sick. I went into work Wednesday with an awful sore throat (and I work in a call center – not good) and ended up vomiting in my trash can in my cubicle. Not my finest moment. So I went home. Stayed home Thursday sick, worked through Friday sick. Went to the walk-in on Saturday where the nurse prescribed lidocaine for my throat but said she didn’t think I had strept but instead a viral infection.

I took a ton of Motrin for the pain since the lidocaine was shit (and it tasted disgusting) but my sore throat would not go away. So after work on Monday I went to my primary physician where she proceeded to tell me she thought it looked like I had strept throat.

“I see you have some white spots on your tonsils.”

I stare awkwardly. “I don’t have tonsils.”

“You don’t have tonsils?”

“No, I had them removed in fourth grade.”

“Oh. Hm…”

So we come to find out (at least she believes) that my tonsils have grown back. Which if I’m playing Detective BB means maybe that’s the reason for my constant sore throats this year.

Anyway – she prescribes me Penicillan. I get home. And before taking the meds, I take off my clothes.

HIVES. ALL OVER my tits. WTFBBQ?!

I check my legs. Hives. My arms. Hives.

I took benedryl & went to bed. During work the next day, the rash/hives spread to my face. In a nutshell – the rash hasn’t gone away. It comes and goes. If I take 2 benny’s (yup we’re so close now I gave him a nickname) before bed, the rash seems to stay gone for approximately one day before they return. Weird. I think stress induced.

Which brings me to stress. Why do we have such stress? Why can’t life be full of butterflies and rainbows? Dancing penguins in tuxedos? I just don’t get it…

Look, long story short: I know pretty much every middle-class person has financial stress. It sucks. I get that. But your own stress always feels worse than the next person’s stress. I just feel like if I work my ass off at my job, I deserve to be appreciated for it! Don’t you?! So I had a small emotional breakdown after over-spending at the grocery store and realizing that I will only have about $4.00 in my checking account until next payday. Where the cycle will repeat.

And that breakdown led to my second breakdown which is that my co-workers with degrees in fucking Criminal Justice make more money than I do. I sell insurance for fuck’s sake! How can you tell me that a Criminal Justice major deserves more green than me?! I work just as hard (if not HARDER) than these idiots with degrees.

Which led me to research my companies tuition reimbursement program. And I ended up meeting today with an academics counselor. So BB goes to school.

I was talking to my mother yesterday and I said something that I think will become my mission statement for the next several years:

I want to be a leech to this company. I want to move to a job and suck every last bit of knowledge and experience from it before I move on to another position. I want to become the most marketable individual so that when I finally leave the company to do something I actually want to do, I have a better shot of getting my foot in the door.

It might not sound very pretty – but it’s true. And it’s what I have to do in order to be successful. Do you think sitting still for the next fifteen years is going to make me the big bucks? NO. I have to move. Constantly. Add a Bachelor’s degree to the mix? I’m gold, baby.

So it can’t be done tomorrow or the next day. Or even next year. Maybe not even the next three years. But it can be done. Will I still bitch about my finances? Yup. But so will you. And you deserve to. Because it sucks to work hard and not make what you deserve.

I told you I had a lot to talk about! I give a gold medal to anyone who actually read this.

I skipped the diet stuff that I mentioned back in paragraph one but you get the picture. Same ole shit.

How’s your life going?

BB

PS. Any Angel/Buffy fans still out there? I’ve been re-watching both shows. (Right now, primarily focused on Angel – then BtVS.)

Just for fun: Here’s one of the better songs from the musical Buffy episode, Once More with Feeling. James Marsters is so beautiful and needs to work more so I can make moon eyes over him.

 

The Twilight Zone

Cue the music. Because earlier this week I was in the Twilight Zone.

So remember my one night stand from a couple months ago? Well. Here’s the story. On Thursday night my e-mail app on my iPad randomly started working again after being broken for two months. So apparently it send all the e-mails that had failed from two months back. One of which happened to be from the one nighter. Oh, fuck.

So I woke up Friday morning to an e-mail saying how he was sad I had “disappeared” on him. Okay, huh, what? Did I miss something? I tried to continue on with the relationship and got all the wrong signals. So instead of being that crazy stalker chick, I dropped it and treated it like it was: a one night stand.

Anyway to make a long story short, because I really genuinely did like him, when he asked me out tonight I said sure. Just text me the details. And have I heard from him yet? Nope. LOL.

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. And you.

At least now I’m not totally confused about the whole thing and I know he was and is just after one thing.

BUT, that’s not all! On Friday night (the SAME day this one gets in touch with me, mind you) I get a message from my only other one night stand. I did sleep with someone shortly after my very first long term relationship ended on a bad note. In a way, it was totally therapeutic for me. But I never wanted to hear from him again. And here he is messaging me about how he wished we would have hooked up again, he liked my boobs, etc. I mean, c’mon guys.

So yeah, it was raining exes this week for me.

In other news…………..

I am literally trying so so so hard not to start counting down until my vacation. I’m feeling super crispy and getting so sick of talking to people about insurance all day long (have I mentioned I sell insurance?) People are starting to piss me off and I’m losing my patience for these callers. I haven’t had more than a week-end off since last September. But in approximately three months I’ll be relaxing poolside, swimming with the dolphins, and riding the roller coasters in Orlando, FL. with my whole family! I’m psyched. I’ll make sure to include a photo of where we’re staying so you guys can be nice and jealous! I’ve decided to force myself to wait until July 29th to start the official countdown.

And in further news: My diet and exercise routine seems to finally be working out. I’ve lost 6.8 pounds in the last seven days and since I started being healthy a total of about 8 pounds. It’s slow going but progress is progress and I do feel happier and less stressed than before so I am going to just keep plugging away at it.

Hope everyone is well.

BB

PS. Just finished a book called A Captive in the Dark. If you’re into a little non-con or kidnapping fantasy or even if you just like a good mindfuck, check it out. It’s only 99 cents on Amazon and had my eyes glued to just about every page.