This is a question that I ask a lot of kinksters I talk to. When did you know you were _______ (submissive, Dominant, other?) Was there a specific situation which pointed you in this direction? Or have you always known? When did you first realize?
Here’s my answer: I’ve always known about my submissiveness. Even when I was a child and had absolutely no idea what it meant, I knew that the end scene of Aladdin with Jasmine in chains & serving Jafar gave me funny feelings. As I got a little bit older (maybe 7-12) my Barbies were constantly getting kidnapped by “evil” Ken. Taken to a dungeon, tied up, forced to serve, have sex, and fall in love with their captor.
I read my first romance novel Outlander by Diana Gabaldon around the age of thirteen. And thus began my obsession with the alpha male. I started going to the library and taking out tons of historical romance books. I always enjoyed reading about the strong, dominant hero and the naïve blushing submissive heroine.
And from there, being the curious tween that I was, I did lots of research. I came across a blog online belonging to a submissive. She wrote about her experiences with her Dom who she called “Mac.” I remember reading that blog for hours and hours until my eyes were tired. By that point she had been blogging for several years and there were plenty of blog posts to search through. (Sidenote: If this submissive and her “Mac” rings any bells to you, let me know! I forgot the name of her blog but would love to see if she’s still blogging.)
After reading about her and Mac I discovered BDSM. It was all over from there, I was hooked. I knew with all my heart that this is what I was. I’ve always talked to people on the internet from before I should have (and certainly before it was safe to do so – as if it is now, right?) so I was and still am constantly learning about the BDSM world.
Now I’m twenty-three and still exploring every day. One of my favorite things about BDSM is that there is a never-ending learning curve. There will always be something more for me to discover. Always a new kink to be had. Always interesting people to discover.
A stranger on the internet spoke with me about BDSM when I was about fifteen. I don’t remember any part of the conversation except what I’ll leave you with tonight. This is what he told me…
“Your needs dovetail perfectly with each other. The one for total control; the other for absolute submission.”
Leave your story in the comments! How did you find out you were ________? Have you always known like I have? Or was there a specific happenstance that led you to it?