Just Stupid?

Or do the people I meet online just don’t give a fuck?

I am on a kinky social networking site. I recently joined one of the groups and posted an advertisement. Besides it being made quite clear on my profile itself, I also posted in the ad the following:

Hi, all! I’ve been on *** searching for a LTR (and friends, of course!) for several months and after perusing…

Please PM me if:
You are 23-40
Live in New England (would consider long distance but definitely not a preference)
Define yourself as a Dom or Daddy Dom
Are independent (own place)
Love bigger women
Searching for a LTR

Has it been made clear that I want a LTR?? And yet 100% of the responses that I receive are from idiots looking for a quickie. Are we for real, people? As I’ve stated many times previously, there are other places you can go for a quickie! I am not those places!

In one of the messages I received in response to this ad was this gem. A gentleman contacted looking to be my Dom (as if I can just snap my fingers and say, “You’re it!”) I gave him the benefit of the doubt and replied. He asked to learn more about me.

I responded with two short paragraphs about who I am, what I like, and what I’m looking for. I asked him the same. Here is his response: “about me hmm i list all my interests on my page

Well, hello Mr. Idiot, so do I!!! But I still took the time to reply to your question! So I still am giving him the benefit of the doubt. He asks for a face photo, I provide it. He says: “so not to sound dirty but thats a majorrr turn on when your down on me looking up

You sound dirty! You know you sound dirty! You meant to sound dirty! You are annoying me at this point!

I respond with: “I am looking for a serious relationship, hope I made that clear enough! I’m really sick of the fwb’s/one night stands. I’m ready to meet someone I can have a LTR with and also a family with one day.

He says: “oh soo am i didnt mean to throw you off

He sounds apologetic so I respond to him and ask if he’s been a Daddy Dom before (my ad was posted in a Daddy Dom group, something I’m relatively new to) and he replies with: “i have before yes and i would like to be your new dom daddy” And then asks what town I live in.

I ask if he can tell me about his past experience with it and he again asks me for my specific location. Okay bub, we’ve exchanged less than a dozen messages. Of which you don’t write more than two damn sentences…and you want me to dole out all my personal information?

I ignored this question and get another message of “Hello?” five minutes later.

It’s frustrating that I can’t find my perfect match. Where is my wonderful Dom to sweep me off my feet and have an actual conversation with me?

*sigh* This subbie is frustrated tonight.



7 thoughts on “Just Stupid?

  1. if you are referring to fetlife it is a stupid place to begin with-honey-what happens over there is that ONLY the people who are already screwing the caretakers and greeters are responding-if you do not personally know someone on staff fetlife deletes most accounts-

    FETLIFE is owned bya child molestor-maybe you were not around when Baku made the sexually explicit tape of the kid he harrassed-but that is the kind of behavior he encourages-and Baku has raped a female member-
    seriously go look in their announcements section-
    every time you log onto fetlife you are filling that pedophile’s pocketbook with money-the advertisers they use pay them based off of website traffic

    • I am on fetlife and also a recent user – joined in January of this year. I actually quite enjoy the community feel as well as the different types of groups. It allows me to explore who I am as a submissive but also an individual. I belong to vanilla groups on there as well and enjoy talking with others about TV shows or books that I enjoy.

      Sounds like you have certainly had a negative experience with the site. This is not the first I’ve heard of negative experiences and have been very cautious since joining.

      If you could recommend a better kink friendly site that is as user friendly as fet I would greatly appreciate it!

      Thanks for stopping by,


      • collarme is about the best option besides fet-and I am not kidding read the announcements-Baku raped a member of the website and then sexually harrassed a child on videotape-when people log into fetlife their advertisers pay based off of website traffic-anyone who logs into fetlife is supporting a child molestor and rapist-that’s as sick as it gets-
        you mentioned vanilla so think about this-martha stewart went to jail and now no one wants her products-kathie lee gifford used to sell a popular line of clothing until it was discovered that she was using a kids sweat shop to manufacture them in
        this is NOT a negati8ve experience this is ME telling YOU that when you log in you are paying the bills of a VERY BAD person-why would you support that?

      • I’m already on CM. I have been on and off for years. In the seven years I’ve been on the site they have not changed one thing about it. If it were as user friendly as fet then I certainly would use it more frequently. And furthermore, I have encountered far more creepers on CM than I have so far on fet. In both the vanilla and kink community there are going to be evil people. Unfortunately that’s just the way the world is.

        I still enjoy Kathie Lee’s segments on the Today Show and would purchase Martha Stewart products. It’s not about making a statement or supporting this person, it’s about what I want, what I need, what I prefer. Just because I still like the product doesn’t mean I’m for sweat shops or insider trading.

        I don’t choose to support this person (whoever he is!) I am simply looking to find myself and possibly a partner as well.

        Thank you for your thoughts on the subject,

  2. Hi there! This is my first visit to your blog, and I’d like to thank xtremelust for reblogging and sharing your site (she did the same for me a few days back, and I just realized that I’ve yet to properly thank her! Eep!)

    Let me just say that, site aside, your responses are normal. No matter where you go, what site you use, or if it’s vanilla or kinky, you will get the same ratio of idiots to intelligent responses. Unfortunately, the ratio of (decent*) Doms to subs is not in the submissive’s favor, and, unless they live in a *very* remote area, most Doms worth their salt have more than ample opportunities right at their front door, and don’t really scan the ads for much more than a FWB-type situation, if even then.

    I wish you luck, but 99.9% of the relationships I know that have lasted began when one or the other of the people in it weren’t looking for a relationship at all. I know my own did.

    Kink responsibly!


    • Thank you so much for your comment, it is greatly appreciated!

      I’ve had a couple of long term relationships with men I met from the internet (nilla and kink) as well as a couple not-so-long term relationships.

      I agree with your last statement. I think I’d have better luck at munches or functions but right now I’m too shy to attend by myself. So until I find a kink buddy, my search will be limited to the net.

      Hope you had a super holiday week-end and thank you again for the comment!


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