My thoughts tonight are on my weight.
I’ve been actively searching for a partner for a few months now. I’m a bigger girl, I have curves, and yes I need to lose some weight in order to be healthy. I have to “market” myself online as a “BBW.” I hate this. I don’t like the term. It’s suppose to be positive but I feel like as soon as someone hears it they think about women much much larger than myself.
I carry my weight fairly well and would love to just put “curvy” on my profile but I suppose unfortunately it’s not very accurate. I was browsing the profiles online tonight and came across one from a very large woman. Looking through her photos there were so many comments praising her for how large she was. Some comments described how beautiful her “huge gut” was. Are we really serious right now? She had a gorgeous face but can someone that large even have sex??? I’m trying not to hate on girls bigger than me (because I’m considered medically obese myself) but when I see something like that it irks me.
Am I being hypocritical? Yes, to a point. But I just never understood how people that large (we’re talking 500+lbs) can justify being so unhealthy. It really makes me step back and take a look at how I’m living my life. I’ve been heavy all my teen/adult life and have been actively involved in trying to lose weight and be healthier.
I don’t want to be loved for my fat. I don’t want to be with a fat fetishist or a feeder. I don’t think my belly is sexy. I think I’m sexy as a person. As a whole, who I am is sexy. I just want to find a man who will love me for me. Not for me being a “BBW” or a big woman. Because sorry guys, I don’t plan to be a BBW forever.
I rambled here but there needs to be some sort of line that we draw. I am ALL for the fat girls gettin’ some lovin’. But we need to love our bodies first and the best way to do that is to be healthier!
Until next time,
PS – I feel like I threw the heavier women under the bus tonight and by no means am I skinny. I’m 5’3 and approximately 265lbs.