I’ve been on and off the internet searching for my perfect guy for years now. I’ve met people from the internet occasionally. Some good experiences and some bad. Sometimes I’m on a vanilla site looking for a guy and sometimes it’s a kink-themed site. I find it’s much easier to find potential matches on a kink site. I get more responses and messages on the kink site.
Men tend to be a lot more open/willing to explore on the kinky sites. So right now I’m frequenting those sites trying to find a sincere man looking for a real relationship. I’m pretty good with spotting the bullshit train quickly. The ones who are so obviously only looking for a hook-up. The ones that are saying exactly what you want to hear just to get you into bed!
Unfortunately my douche-bad radar must have been broken because one slipped through the cracks last week. He seemed totally sweet, caring, kind. We spoke about general vanilla topics for the first couple days before moving onto sex. He was patient and I felt comfortable giving out my number to him. He texted me to say good morning and wish me a good day. Everything seemed to be happening fast (which should have been my FIRST warning!) but I was so enthralled I ignored the too speedy progression of our conversation.
Anxious to meet him and get the nervous “coffee” date over with, we set up a time. Monday night we met up but decided last minute to go get a glass of wine instead. It was lovely! I had a great time conversing with him. He paid for the wine before I even had a chance to put up a weak fight to pay for it. It seemed to be going fabulously….
….and then my awful decision to fuck him. You see, it’s no excuse, but I’ve been single and too celibate for almost two years. I fell for the flowery bullshit Monday night and gave in to my own temptations. The sex was great! Even afterwards, it didn’t seem awkward like I thought it might. But then I went home soon after. I heard from him very briefly on Tuesday and since then, nada. Nothing. Zip. Zilch.
It doesn’t matter even if he were to text now (which he won’t!) there is no excuse for sleeping with a woman and not even saying thanks!
It takes two to make a bad sexual decision. I am not blaming this man for everything. I am a big girl. I made a big girl decision. Now to deal with the big girl consequences! I’m not an innocent victim. I could have not been a slutty whore, thanked him for the wine, and then left. Would anything have been different? I’ll never know.
Sigh. This is my second one night stand. The first was very different because I was fully aware it was only going as far as one night. I was okay with that. But this time this guy made me feel safe. He made me feel secure and comfortable. He knew I was being too naive and he took advantage of that.
Again, my bad. Partly my mistake. But I want to take this time to say to this gentleman: FUCK YOU. You responded to a very detailed classified ad I had out looking specifically for a long term relationship. There are PLENTY of women (especially on kink sites) who are only looking for a hook up so why waste all your precious time playing someone who isn’t looking for that?
The extra slutty part is that we didn’t use a condom. I’m on birth control but for God’s sake, Blackbird….use your BRAIN.
Moral of the story, folks: be careful who you correspond with on the internet. Be on the look-out for scum bags and don’t give it up that quickly.
Until next time –